Short and sweet

The most pronounced words I ever wrote
Are the very words I failed to speak

Rusty nails

Never understood how she could,
Mean so little to so many
Why does she mean everything to me?

Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?

Questioning her good intention
Jealousy's a bad invention
When you push on glass, it's bound to break

Even when she was defensive,
It just gave me more incentive
The more you squeeze, the more it slips away

I never walked so far on a lonely street
With no-one there for me
Is it worth the pain, with no one to blame?
For all of my insecurities
How did I ever let you go?

Accept this confession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
You're not my possession! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
My conscience is vicious! ...I'm walking on pins and needles
And I'm begging forgiveness! ...I'm walking on pins and needles

I never walked so far on a lonely street,
With no one there for me
It took too long to see her in misery
And now it's clear to me

That it's worth the pain, always take the blame
For all your own insecurities
How did I ever let you go?





Dear life,
Get better.

Lets see

I don't even know.
No, really.






PS: This is not easy... *sigh*

Sometimes

Sometimes I wish I was not me.
Sometimes I wish I was emotionless.
Sometimes I wish I could care less.
Sometimes I wish I did not worry.
Sometimes I wish I never longed for love.
Sometimes I wish I could watch the world go by.
Sometimes I wish . . .


I feel like blah.

You know.

"Never make someone a priority if they consider you an option"

I really should take this quote to heart. I do not know why I make certain people priorities when I am just their option. It a pretty horrible feeling when you want to be someones priority and realize you are not.

And today I saw my parents outside sitting by each other in the sun. They were holding hands and just talking. I really hope when I am old and gray that I will still have that close of a relationship with whoever I am with. It makes me smile.

Tired

What an exhausting day. I am not sure why I am writing this~

I have been thinking lately... I am really attractive. I don't think that it is cocky to say since I rarely have (Low self esteem?), but today I just felt extremely sexy. Maybe it's the hair? (Thanks Lisa)

I wrote a lot more but I erased it. I feel it is pointless to talk about my problems right now.

G'night world.

If you are so frequently in love
If you prefer it all to me then my love
You go down the longest road to nowhere
You pull it apart and you’re just left there

Me

"all i can do is be me, whoever that is."
-bob dylan.

The end

"If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style." Sometimes I wonder if this quote is the basis for my life. Every time I feel I am getting somewhere it is always a dead end, always something telling me I cant. I have never had someone to just be there and tell me I can. It is frustrating that it takes so much effort to get somewhere -- Or nowhere in my case.

I am done searching. I am done trying. I am done.





















Just keep throwing out a line
Maybe someday you will find what you are looking for

Hmm

Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my time~

I'm not alone

Here are the lyrics from the song I was going off about in my previous blog.

Calvin Harris - I'm Not Alone (Deadmau5 Remix)

Can you stay up for the weekend?
And blame god for looking too old
Can you find all that you stand for?
Has been replaced with mountains of gold

You can untrain yourself to notice
To feel pain and swallow fear
But can you stay up for the weekend 'til next year

God I can't do this anymore
Oh I’ll be laid down on the floor
As many feet walk through the door
I’m not alone

If I see a light flashin'
Could this mean that I’m comin' home?
If I see a man waving
Does this mean that I’m not alone?

Other than that I don't really have much to say. I received some news that bummed me out but I will be alright <3

And now for something completely different:



















Hahahaha. Win.

Random

I really do think I have A.D.D. When I write, I get distracted so easily and it ends up taking me an hour or more to jot down something that should have taken five minutes. I blame the internet and the entertainment it brings.

I discovered an amazing track remixed by Deadmau5 today that literally blew me away. It felt like my ears were having rough dirty you-know-what. I closed my eyes and the world had disappeared, something I could only wish would happen more often. Whenever I hear something like that it always presses me to continue to want to produce music someday. I <3 music.

In other news I think I have acquired a few really lame injuries.
1. I bruised my hip. I don't even know how that's possible but I did it.
2. I think I broke my toe. Failing at walking + foot to stool = broken toe.

That's all for now.

And now for something completely different:



















You know it's funny.

April's Fool.

It's April Fools and I have yet to prank anyone. I think as you get older the things that used to be funny/fun are not as appealing as they were in your youth. Oh well.

I have a to-do list this month:

be more awesome than I already am
dance my ass off
become drama free
start working out again
keep it real (Thanks Anthony)
job/school
discover more music
meet new people

I have a feeling this month will be a good one. I can feel the weight off my shoulders already -- Unless I'm working out har har har.

And now for something completely different:















A+